Thursday, November 20, 2008


I am a work in progress. I am peeling off layers and finding the things I don't like in there and trying so very hard to weed them out and plant peace in their places. I fight the process. I try to shield it and not let it in. It hurts when you look at it and really see it. It is hard to see that you are not the gentle, loving, peaceful person you thought but someone human, who has hung onto bits of ick and grudges for years. That a bit of all past wrongs has been carried within you for a lifetime...things that didn't really matter then much less now...yet they have been part of you, shaped you, and lived within you...and that having to look at them give them a name and begin to let them go is so very hard. To continue to grow and learn in a new spiritual way is not easy but working toward peace and contentment in a world where that is very hard to find is needed and a necessity. And today I made a big first step looking at me...and feeling tears slip out as I focus and try to heal and try to leave behind and try to move forward and be a better person, more positive person, a more serene person, a person who can channel the negativity and put perspective into the world when sometimes it is the biggest thing missing...golden light, healing, powerful, centered...growing and learning and listening...thank you Michelle for being a stepping stone in the world for me.

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