Friday, September 16, 2011


I have been busily flying along living a life. Intentions being to write, intentions being to read, intentions being to connect, intentions being to rest, intentions being to breathe... I find in my unending quest for balance I am not meeting any of my intentions. So unarmed with a great picture for this post I find myself at a keyboard and ready to type.

So many thoughts in my head, biggest and foremost is news my friend received yesterday that his twenty something daughter has been missing for 7 days. Being a mom to two girls, I cannot physically imagine the feeling of news like this and hope to never, ever, ever know how it feels. Then I sit and wonder what do you do for someone who has had a rug yanked from under them? How can you support them and say the right things when you are giving thanks it isn't you at that moment? All I can think to do is light my candles and send all the good energy and good juju to him and his family I can. And hope upon hope that she contacts them and that this was her decision and that she is healthy and all will be well. Meanwhile, there is a young boy, who fortunately is safe, wondering where his mama is and a father crying himself to sleep with worry and helplessness...

Then there is just the unsettled world I find myself in everyday. The world I should be grateful for because it is called employment. The place that allows me and my gang to be together and live the life we enjoy...that does get eclipsed though. All the days of rage, angst, accusations, distrust, seething, worry, covering your backside, and holding your breath, is exhausting. Completely and utterly mentally finishing. I feel like I somedays can't take one more step or think one more thought. I am drained. I need to breathe and escape but the weekends go by in a blink and then there is another week to take hour by hour and survive. At some point it has to come to a can't keep building there is no more room for that...I am waiting for the final fallout and if you have ever sat waiting for the worst to finally be over you know how that feels! My only comfort is that yoga starts up again on Sunday and I have one day a week to remind myself I really need to keep breathing and just ride the wave.

On a happier note, my friend and I bought a boat. I am calling it my therapy right now. It was like the universe knew my world was going to get rocky and that I had longer to be in the muck before a real escape can happen, the universe heard all my whining and sighing over being on water and said well you can't move but here try this. And now I just have to shovel the week till the weather says yep come on out then I float and rest and breathe and soak in all that is good and return ready to keep climbing the hill. Thank you universe! I didn't know I ever wanted a boat but you are right I really, really did!!!

So if you find yourself with a moment, send out some prayers, or juju, or energy to my friend and his family, and heck to our little workplace. May peace and safety find you and yours as well.