Tuesday, April 30, 2013


    My Mom and Dad always told my brother and I that you do not talk about religion or politics in polite company.  Of course being a kid, I was like "uh-ok" wondering why on earth you would ever want to talk about those things with anyone any way.  I mean there was music and boys and clothes to discuss why would I want to talk about dry and boring religion and politics??

    What happened to smart people like my parents?  What happened to that value of relationships that you would leave hot topics alone?  And more to the point why is this the basis of ending a relationship when you are twelve??

     The past few weeks my lovely twelve year old has had the topic of religion, particularly hers, hit her hard in her core.  She was approached by two "friends" of her little boyfriend and told that he was breaking up with her because she was an "atheist and the Bible prohibited them from being together."  This passed and the little boyfriend defended her then, yet today he broke up with my girl.  This I expected.  They are 12.  It is a reality not a shock.  However, he told her he couldn't be with her because of her religion that it wasn't right what she believed. 

     I am really and truly upset by this.  More so than my old soul of a child, who wisely said she didn't want to be with anyone ever that would hurt her like that and that they just weren't worth it.  ( I still do not have this clarity she has.)  First, I do not tolerate ignorance well.  And these boys are spewing things they have heard elsewhere and have no idea of what they speak.  My child is not an atheist.  She is a seeker.  She is finding her way on her OWN spiritual path.  Not one that her Dad or I have chosen for her.  She is talked to and her questions answered honestly.  She is given opportunities to read and experience the world.  She is taught morals, she is taught honesty, she is taught to treat others as she would like to be treated.  She is a truly upstanding human.  I to my core believe the world could use many more people like this young lady who is kind and giving and nurturing.  This girl who stands up for others and takes on the world.  Secondly, she does believe.  The who, to me does not matter.  The fact she has a connection to something bigger than herself and finds comfort in that is enough for me.  That she feels drawn to her insides and what is in there and that she expresses those thoughts and emotions with respect for others is hugely important to me as her mother.  Thirdly, it is absolutely no other students business what her religion is.  It has absolutely nothing to do with them.  Religion is so very personal how on earth can any of us say that the way you believe is wrong as long as that way is moral and honorable and harms no one else in the process???  Religion helps us find our way in this big, crazy world.  It gives comfort for the all those things that do not make sense.  It cannot be one size fits all as none of us are the same. 

    In my life, I am guilty of judging others, I believe it is a human condition, but I am working on it.  I accept that other people might do and experience their world differently than I do, and overall I think that is a good thing, but as a type A I would love everyone to be me and agree with me!!  However I am open to differences.  I am open to those in this world who believe differently than I do.  And I TEACH my children to never isolate someone based on those differences.  So it really hurts me that in allowing her to grow into who she needs to be spiritually I have set her up to be out casted and attacked, by (this is me judging right now) those very people whose religion professes they should do none of these things.  I have issue with selective practice.  If you are going to talk the talk to someone I believe you should be walking the walk to use a cliche.  If you are truly confident in your religion shouldn't you want to lift us up with it not shame us with it?? 

    When I talked to my sage child this evening, I said maybe in the future you don't tell them everything maybe you just agree so that you aren't a target...and she says "But that is a lie.  I want people who accept me for who I really am."  Out of the mouths of babes there is a truth.  And I encourage you all to take the time to step back and begin to accept people.  To stop taking what works for you and broad brushing the rest of us.  For it is you who will lose out in the end by shutting out beautiful souls like my daughter, in her I see incredible things for the world.  In her honesty and her maturity.  I am holding out hope that one day someone really just amazing will see that in her and honor her for it as their partner. 

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Heart stirred...

There is something about music, specifically live music, that does something to my very soul.  I know that sounds extreme and a little corny but I do truly mean it.  I have such a visceral response to music played live. It rings to my core and makes me feel so many different things.  The biggest is gratefulness that there are people who feel, and write, and play this music that touches something inside me.  These people who are not superstars but still keep putting themselves out there for those of us seeking and wishing we had the the voice.  These people who give us voice. 

I drag my poor Irishman to so many events just to support these voices these talents these wonderful folks who do something I soooo cannot do.  To show them their voices have importance.  I am thankful there are musicians and that there are people who believe they have a place and a value.  And that my little town actually draws talent and supports those who are on their journey to finding their voice.  I am always in awe the talent that lurks at the end of my little street.  The opportunities to discover voices and songs.  To experience the package of the words, oh how I have always been a sucker for good words, and a tune. 

I have always had music in my background growing up.  My parents took us as kids to all kinds of live events.  And also growing up Irish there is a tie to that sound to that art.  There is an appreciation for songwriters and performers.  How many afterhours events I was at where the shushing began early to show respect to the talent.  You were NOT allowed to speak or distract from the performer who was giving of themselves in front of you.  You were expected to give complete respect to the bravery and the gift.  There is sooooo much of that lost here in America.  So much lost from that.  So little respect paid to people who give from their being to you.  Whether it is your style or your genre there is a respect for that gift for that voice.  To be in a place that allows for that expression and encourages it.  To be an audience for something that really is bigger than what it seems.  Music is a journey.  A path through all that you experience during this human condition.  It is there in the pain, the memory, the love, the lows, the highs, the silliness all that are this one life you live and share.  To have that voice that direct connection to the spirit and to share that voice with others is beyond a gift. 

I am ever, ever grateful that there are folks working to show us this path and lead us on this journey.  Folks who work soooooo very hard to pull it together and fund this craft.  And folks who make it easy for everyday folks like me to soar.  Thank you musicians.  Your importance in this world is often overlooked but it is my one woman quest to drum up support for your efforts and your voice.

Sunday, April 14, 2013


Loss...the world around me this week has been so full of loss that it has been hard to breathe.   None of this loss has been mine or my family's gratefully.  Yet the losses have been large and heartwrenching.

The kinds of loss that make you question your core and who you are and who you surround yourself with.  Is it really important?  Will it even matter after you are gone?  What can I change now while I have time?  What can I do differently??  How can I help these people in their grief?  Is there anything at all that my small voice can do to help them heal and help them find peace? 

How do these families move on in the world and still breathe and still find joy?  How do they ever allow themselves to feel again??  Thankfully there has been time with my little family.  Time to snuggle and giggle, although I have felt guilty doing so in the face of what all is going on for others.  I have had my ladies close to me and held them and talked to them.  And soaked up all that is good in our home. 

I have lit candles.  I have prayed.  I have sent healing over and over and over hoping to impact some small relief on all those hurting hearts.  And I have given thanks that we are all together in our space surrounding ourselves in us.   So please for me, on this day, take time to breathe in your good.  Be grateful for your now.