I really can't explain how grateful I am right now. I went to yoga tonight, our community center has finally added yoga to it's fitness schedule. Thankfully, they hired an incredible teacher who really seems to love yoga and sharing it with us all. She is patient. She is calm. She is insightful. She is adaptive.
I have stumbled around in her class through some of the ick. And never quite come to a peace I was hoping for. But now there is this Wednesday night class which is a mix of all levels and the teacher embraces the middle of the work week eveningness of it and she is pampering us and nourishing us.
But tonight, she always asks if there is anything we need to work on and any tight spots or sore spots, I almost cried and must have glowed...tonight for the first time in my recent memory when I did a quick overall scan of my body, I could say nope. I FEEL GOOD!!! Me I said those words!! And I meant it!
So tonight's practice felt like a gift. I love the energy and the faces that come into that space. And I love that it is my little midweek gift to me. Thank you thank you thank you universe for putting this right at my doorstep. Yep me thinks health is a great word for my new year! I am on a comeback!!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
It has been a long time since I have visited my little space. I would like to have more time here so with hopes of words to come I am back today.
I have been a little out of sorts for a while. My body seemed to have a tantrum and threw my groove. As I have said before life with pain is a challenge. You lose some of yourself and who you want to be in the world in the process. Mentally, it is like climbing a very big mountain with no equipment.
But I made steps, with nudges and encouragement from dear friends, and I am now in the process of working with a naturopath to fix me. And I must say it feels sooooo good to feel again. To want to laugh and be able to laugh and be able to see and hear and be touched by the world I move in. I am grateful to have hope and be on a path to peace and joy. I have things to do in this world and I am glad to be on a path that will give me a whole person to do them all.
This year I picked the word HEALTH for my word of the year. I see this as a very life encompassing word. My physical health, my mental, my financial, my home, my environment. I am forgiving myself and making time and budget to allow for the things I need to restore me to whole. I am opening myself to listening and awareness of my inner voice and my bodies needs.
I need to do soooo many things and add much more into my plan. When the pain came I lost my groove for exercise and am still trying to find my way back. Also my eating took a dive, when you don't feel good plans and food prep seem like Mt. Everest. But I am working on my patience and trying to see this as a journey not an instant gratification event. I am not good at this, never have been, I want results and yesterday, this thought needs to shift as well so I can truly be healthy. Right now, while I fix my taxed system and get it on the road to recovery, some things have to take a backseat to be added later. If you know me at all you know that slowing down is really not in my vocabulary. But I am trying to just accept it all day by day, moment by moment.
So far, I have made a schedule shift that has led me to less stress and more sleep. It also gave me back some things I was missing that brought me contentment and joy, think book club and kid time. I have been doing what will equate to 12 sessions, at 6 now of hydrotherapy come on organs kick it with me!! I have an infared sauna purchased to keep detoxing and healing this aching being I live in. I am being choosy about who gets my time and when I say yes. (This will continually be a work in progress). I have gotten my behind back on my yoga mat at least once a week, this needs to increase but see baby steps. I am making goals to get at least 30min of exercise of varied forms into my daily routine, right now that is inconsistent but trying to not "Sheila" it and let it happen. I have added supplements (yes I always protested ingesting any extra into my body I am learning) and so far I feel like they have made me a much improved unit. I have also added green juice back into my daily life. I have goals for meal planning, dry brushing, and finding even more quiet and reflection time, also watching for any opportunity to laugh. My new question for myself is, "is this healthy for me? Does it do anything to promote my goal of health??"
I want to really express my gratitude to all the friends and family that have stayed by my side still seeing me and who I am when I did not. All of you who have lifted me up and loved me any way even when I really couldn't return the favor, you are all so beyond incredible. I am blessed to have so many people who truly love me. Also thanks to the universe who has thrown the right people in my path on this process old and new.
So let me tell you, no matter what you have going on there is a way. There is a path for you, you just have to pay attention and listen to yourself to find it. My wish for you is that you surround yourselves in gentle thoughts and realize moment by moment is still forward movement and I am proud of you!!