Tonight was a big night of conversations with my girls. I have found the hardest part of this parenting thing is the conversations. Not because talking to my kids has ever been a chore, but because I spend a lot of my time trying to not let them see my jaw drop.
I have always tried to be there for my girls no matter what. I feel those open ears are soooo important so they feel heard and know that any topic is open. I try to not jump to panic or give them the impression these topics are things to be uncomfortable about even though sometimes they are very far out of my comfort zone and I grasp for words.
Tonight was full of these things. There were relationship talks, maturation talks, there were talks about Ferguson, talks about government, talks about religion, talks about being a woman. Some of this was very hard. What do you say? How do you lead and answer things that sometimes truly do not make sense even to your much older self?
I feel like I repeat myself, and hope they do not think I am just paying them lip service to their very deep and serious thoughts. But the overall message I hope my girls take into their futures are that we have to be kind. No matter if your opinions are different you must respect the different paths and journeys others may be on. Respect for them does not mean agreement and that you cannot have your beliefs it just means you respect their humanness. I think the word humanness comes out of my mouth a lot in our talks. I think as a society we have lost that basic thing, we are all just that, human. We should be united in our humanness not so isolated and divided by it. By dropping titles and our own groupings and recognizing we share a grouping in being human I feel the world could grow to give all a voice and encourage that respect we all desire! I also think that if my girls see themselves as plainly as human that they can grow in acceptance and kindness.
This raising some very strong and opinionated girls is not for the light of heart. It stretches your very basic youness to try and step outside your long held prejudices or peeves to grow someone who can do big things in this lifetime. I tell them that all this change and injustice they perceive can only truly be changed by them and their generation. It is up to them to dump titles, respect differences, and treat people as humans and with kindness. Imagine if all the younger generations were able to do this? How very different our world would be.
Also in raising powerful women, I plant the seeds of what they should expect from relationships and dangers and how as women we have a lot to expect and change. The world still does not see women as equals and worthy of governing themselves. There are still bad boys amidst so many good who would want to lead them to harm. But I always tell them they are strong and powerful and they decide what happens. With hopes that is in fact true and they will never ever meet those bad boys. But I can't miss opportunities, not to kill innocence but to empower my growing women to recognize their importance and strength in this world that might not always treat them as such.
Am I doing this right?? I have no clue. Is there a right way? I have no clue. Am I amazed by their strength already? Yes I am. Do I hope that I had something to do with that? Yes I do.
So I leave you with the encouragement that talking is important. That leaving all topics open for exploration is huge, even if you truly have no answers. That celebrating being a human and celebrating kindness is the best thing I think we can give one another. My mind is very tired but I am so very glad for conversations!