Tuesday, April 24, 2012
I love it up there. As soon as I get off the main highway and start towards my destination, I begin to breathe. My shoulders actually come down out of my ears and I feel a grin begin on my face. I love that drive. The twists, the turns, the trees, the water, all bringing me closer to the beach.
I had a list of nearly 8 houses to see, however many were already taken, so I got to see 3. One was beyond bad so made it's way right off the list. The other two gave me a problem, the one that I can afford, that would work, was not the one that made my heart sing (isn't that always the way). The one that did was old, quirky, and had all the hopes I have for my runaway place (well aside from the outside that needs paint or siding). But it is out of my reach by a bit.
After, I went to Crystal Beach to find it under repairs as they prepare for the season, so I meandered my way over to Frankfort and found some solace in a latte and croissant and a walk on the beach. But looking at the water, and hearing the waves made my heartache. It hurts me so very deeply to have to leave the beach and the water. An ache like none I have ever known. I feel almost breathless and unable to breathe when I have to think about leaving and driving away. Today there were tears. I am ever grateful I live somewhere where I can access such beauty easily. But I ache for more. I want this to be part of my world. I have to believe that it will be. That I will have a spot to runaway to and breathe and refill. Where my big day will include walking along the water and feeling like a lottery winner when I find a piece of beach glass AND a heart-shaped rock. These are the simple things that I soooooo want in this world.
I wish my Irishman understod this more. That he could feel even for a few minutes how my heart feels when I stand there and breathe it all in and more importantly how it feels when I have to leave. This want to be up North is more than just a whim. It is something I feel to my core. The water calls me. And now I have to start listening for possible answers...