Calm before the storm...

Had a really relaxed lovely day today.  Taking advantage of the gorgeous weather to try and capture some of what is left of fall, I at least got to crunch in some leaves.  Went with a cute Irish boy to lunch that included dessert.  Pottered around my house trying to reclaim it, this is a verrrrrryyyyy sloooooowwww process and may never be completed while I in fact live here.  I will be heading off for a concert this evening.

Yet I feel like I am holding my breath...like there is something bad coming and I have to keep walking toward it to in fact get past it.  I do not want to.  I want to dig in my heels and say "I don't wanna"  "You can't make me"  but fact is that isn't going to work.  It is just going to keep lurking around teasing me and hitting me at odd moments in small ways until I look it in the eyes and say go for it...hit me!  When it does it will hurt.  I am sure I will in fact cry.  My heart will crack a bit...but then there will be breathing and band aids and light.  And after I stagger for a small bit, I will keep walking hopefully wiser and better but till then I am bracing...waiting for it...  Calm before the storm...then calm again I hope...