Where did December go???

Where did December go??? Why oh why did my Christmas Spirit fail me so?? I wasn't a Scrooge but Bah Humbug fit me much more better than Ho Ho Ho. I did gift, I did make some things, I did decorate, I socialized, I santa'd, I caroled, I tried so very hard to breathe...but this year it just didn't come. I felt like I was moving through December in some kind of bubble...I could see it all I could appreciate it all I just couldn't feel it all...

I don't quite know what happened. I do know that those two by the igloo and me and that Irishman in the bottom photo are getting on a plane on Friday and winging our way to Ireland. Once again I should be excited and looking forward to a trip many people only dream about, but I am tired so very, very tired. I am simply numb. I am hoping when all the pressure of the holiday and getting everyone ready for the trip is over that I will relax and have a truly wonderful trip...it is Ireland and they are Irish people so all the potential for laughing and letting go and moving on are really there. Just will I be??

And not helping any of this emotional stuff is my back. I am not even comfortably couched. I have meds that work but cannot work with the meds...so am hoping I can get myself back onto an even footing that the pain can be managed so as not to eclipse so much good. But tonight it is a gianormous eclipse over the good...I really just want to cry...and now the Irishman has the weather on and it looks like weather might mess up our trip just a bit more...I am not sure my normally strong self has much coping left...think I could come up with a big ole two year old sized temper tantrum but not much resignation and peace with any impending situations...sigh...I will keep shovelling!!

Hope you all are having a truly restful and very happy holiday season! Hope to give a bit of an update once we get across the pond...